quiet

It's quiet in my house. I mean REALLY quiet. Aside from the occasional car driving past and the soft buzz of the baby monitor, the only sound is my fingers on the keyboard. It's nice.

Not that I don't love the sound of my happy girls throughout the day or the Natalie Merchant tunes I just turned off, but the quiet, the near-silence... it's nice.

I thought about folding laundry. I could tidy the entry way and clear it of the boots, shoes and bags. That one full grocery bag on the counter has been staring at me all night. I logged on to the blog thinking I would post the last of the Christmas photos, but even that just feels like work right now. (Don't worry grandparents... I'll keep that at the top of my to-do list.)

I guess I just feel hungry for quiet, for slowing down, regrouping. Even tonight at Elise's bedtime, I sensed the same from Elise. And so we stopped. We stopped mid-way through the bedtime routine (that moment when I'm usually ushering Elise from her book time on the couch to her toothbrush in the bathroom); we stopped just to "snuggle" for a while and talk. It was great.

Why on earth I'm deciding tonight to use my family blog as a personal journal is beyond me. I just don't want to lose those moments... those moments of couch cuddling and silence savoring. I don't want life to fly by and my days to be filled with busyiness and to-do lists. Because, no matter what you believe - that there is eternity to enjoy in heaven or that your soul's light is shut off like a switch upon death - the truth is... life on earth is short and is too often lived in auto-pilot.

My little Elise will only be three for twenty-one more days. I can't stop the clock. My Claire bear will soon start crawling, popping teeth through, taking steps (get back to sleeping through the night, I HOPE!). She's going to pass through this infancy phase much faster than I'd like. So here in the quiet, in this online space alongside our family photos and holiday posts... I want to say that I am thankful. There is gratitude in my heart to a loving God who has given me a spunky, full-energy, life-loving little girl, an adorable, sweet-natured baby, and one incredible husband. I am confident in God's provisions and in awe of His blessings.

So what if I wake up in the morning and regret hitting "publish post." So what. This blog has become a family journal, a place that tells a bit of our family's story. Who knows... maybe years from now Elise and Claire will stumble upon this post and read my words with gratitude in their own hearts. I can only hope and pray.